Someone Hates Me Now

Three days from now, and from that day going 3 months backward marks the day of me and Zaki. Honestly, while writing this article my eyes are wet with tears.

Last week I wrote a friendster testimonial to Zaki. To my surprise, she haven't approved it. Moreover with the profile deletions and with the ever SMS and call denial, I think she hates me. I really wondered why. I recalled our conversation during the time of our breakup and I realized that maybe I may have hurt her. I uttered these words ....

"Honestly, I know that on this very moment of our meet I was expecting that you would break up with me!"

I really thought that line might have hurt her. I was not expecting though, but it slipped my tongue. So very bad of me. It hurt her that much since by the time that I took her to her dormitory she said "So you're expecting, huh?" and I had nothing to say but just simply to shook my head which was very late for me to eat those words back.

Am I that really bad? I know that I treasure relationships, even be possessive when I do feel that the need arises (I am not that "possessive"). But why did this occur to me? Karen (my first girlfriend) confronted me last year to become friends and Myra (my second girlfriend) and I are now at peace-mode. I don't want my past to happen again with Zaki, but in this situation I think history repeated itself.

And now here I am, still my eyes are wet. Zaki, if you are reading this I hope you'll forgive me for what I have done to you.