Current Life As Seen On The Image

Looking at the computer monitor you can see that I had been that "focused" over the net (most doesn't log in to the site that I have opened). So sad that I haven't blogged for some time (Our office prevents me, total damnation!) but I mainly lived just by sitting in front of my PC.
My life: Somewhat Boring

Those papers on the table are supposed to be in their proper folders, but somehow as you can see on the binder, it doesn't have space anymore for extra folders to put in.
My life: Somewhat chaotic, and doesn't have time to explore and widen opportunities

There's a coffee mug there (and believe me it's not empty). I am really addicted to coffee and anything that has caffeine. I wanted to stay awake most of the time (especially at work 'coz if I get some sleep I snore so hard). One mug of coffee isn't enough, that's why I have stocks of coffee around me (see them?).
My life: Trying to enjoy a grasp of good life

See that thing at the top of the folder binders? That's a coloring book. Believe me also, it's really barren. There's nothing inside it but I bought it because I wanted to do some kind of "art" in me.
My life: Needs some spice

And finally, I bought Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life just a week ago. I am on day 8 now. I just thought this one last week: "If I were to change for good, I think it doesn't do me harm - and if I can persevere with it, then maybe I can life the good life without fear and depression (a worry-free life)".
My life: Desperate to learn from the past and change for good

Faith And Mission

Bear with me ... I am soooo lazy at the moment. Sleeping had been my vice as for now (and yehey I seldom drink and barely smoke).

Yesterday I just knew that a friend of mine will be joining a missionary trip to China. I asked her if she's persistent with that and she said "Yes, even if it would take me anything good". I told her "Why? As if you haven't experienced anything good as of now?" and she was speechless by that. I told her that she will miss my birthday, her birthday perhaps, Christmas in her home, or any "good" company outings.

Our conversation lengthened when I felt that I want to cry. She told me it's okay to cry, but I hanged her up. I wanted to cry because I remembered that I had been to missionary trips before when I was still a devout Youth For Christ. I cried because I turned down my friends because I turned down my faith, and my mission as a member of the music ministry of the group. It's good that I have strength now to regain what was lost to me, but for that I still failed my mission (which I don't want to post here).

So what's with my faith? It's good to hear that my friend's so devoted to her faith, while I myself always is a devil's advocate. I had been trying to hide my past, the past which I don't want to turn back. I'm so glad for my friend .... and will always be proud!